you win again, gameday.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When are your genitals available?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
