wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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