I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Drunk is not a location!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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