how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
