Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
