My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
