my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize