dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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