dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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