Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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