How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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