Dual....:-)
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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