she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
