you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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