I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
