you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
