new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
