Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
