Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
