It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
