dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
