He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
