I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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