This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
