Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
