I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
