I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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