do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
