Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
