Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You work out of a Hotel?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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