Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
