I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize