Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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