you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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