How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
