If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
