We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
