So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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