a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize