If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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