he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
