It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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