babies were throwing up all over the place
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize