Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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