He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
