wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize