hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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