I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
