She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
