i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize