I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
