One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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