So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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