What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
