It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
