ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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