I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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