yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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