Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
