no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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