i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize