and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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