I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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