Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
