Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
