So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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